This incident took place during my Student Exchange Programme (SEP) in France, last February. I must say since I studied French in my high school back in Mauritius, I did not have a lot of trouble interacting with the locals. Furthermore, I had some friends from NUS who came with me, they went for an immersion programme beforehand to familiarise themselves and improve their French. When I came later, they helped me a lot and we went to visit around together. I met some other Singaporeans and some Chinese students who were from NTU. From the time they came, they were always hanging out among themselves. Sometimes I joined them for dinner but I was quite bored as most of the time they talk in Chinese and I never understood what was happening. I discontinued to eat with them and preferred to hang out with my other friends from Brazil and Mexico who were also on SEP. Then one day, one of the Singaporean guys from NTU approached me and told me that I had changed a lot and become more ‘french’. Like the way I greet them with a handshake or even that I do not speak in English with them and rather talk in French to show off. I was very pissed off at that moment but preferred to remain silent and walked away. I made as if nothing happened and continued to enjoy my stay. Later I related it to a very good Singaporean friend of mine who was also with me on SEP and he told me that he also did not like the attitude of that guy.
Sometimes I wonder, I have stayed in Singapore for 3 years and yet not encountered such a problem. It was maybe to the way I adapted myself here but back in France I was behaving differently due to the more familiar language and culture.
UCS1001 S21 Tri1 2024-25
3 weeks ago
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I'm not sure that I fully understand the conflict you describe here, Yuvraj. Do you mean to say that the guy from NTU was criticizing you for assimilating too much? What makes this an intercultural observation? Are you suggesting that for you, thanks to your background, it was very easy to adapt to life in France, while for the others it was not? Could you explain this in terms of values, norms and the like?
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, he could not understand why I was not hanging out much with his group. In his viewpoint, since I come from a Singaporean University, I should behave in the way it is done here. For example, whenever I greet a girl, I should not kiss her on the cheeks as they do in France but instead only say 'Hi' as we do in Singapore.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to this, every Friday nights, there were big parties organised in the student hostels. He was totally opposed to this culture which I personally find acceptable in Europe, even the US. However, in Singapore alcohol is not even allowed in the hostels.
These were some the instances when we had some small clashes of opinions. I hope this clarifies some of your doubts.
Great! That makes it very clear. It sounds like that student couldn't enjoy france on its own terms but wanted to make it like Singapore. You were included in his scheme!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Yuraj,
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that u have some SEP experience in Europe. I feel that the guy from NTU who commented on your behaviour is too narrow minded and insensitive. He should have asked you politely about your change in behaviour. Anyway, I have the same problem during my stay in Sweden. Although my swedish classmates were proficient in English , they would chat with each other in Swedish when we had lunch together. However, i just waited patiently for them to finish their conversations. Sometimes,i would ask them what they had just discussed. Fortunately, they would always try their best to explain the content of their conservations in English to me. Maybe, you should have tried asking them to speak in English as you were not able to understand mandarin at all. From what i have observed, i feel that speaking in native language is a way to identify with each other.
Thanks Yuvraj, for sharing! I can see that you are adapting well in Singapore which is good to hear! Haha, I think I would feel a little weird too if a guy greet me the way they do in France though I think it is totally acceptable. I think your NTU friend may be just jealous because you seems to be enjoying your trip but he is not (haha just joking!). Probably if your new friends from SEP were more open-minded to the new environment and new people, and if you could help them to make the trip more memorable, the exhange would be much more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteYep, I agree with Terry that speaking in native language is a way to identify with each other and having the sense of similarity makes one feels better, however I feel that we should also be sensitive to the feelings of the others around us. It won't be nice to leave the 'odd' one out of the group and I think the feeling of that must be really horrible!
Sorry for the late comment! As a concession, I already shared with you some thoughts during the lesson weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brad that the student were trying to stuff France into a Singapore's mould and that's never going to work in intercultural communication.
I believe intercultural conflict is not an unexpected problem for exchange students. Even, in NUS, we have a white supremacist.
http://www.hooked-nussu.org/content/view/1463/42/
Read the comment titled 'Superior Whites' and 'Weird Asians'. My response starts off with "Dear Superior White aka Weird Asians,". The problem with the comments is that it is all anonymous but I digress.
I think those students are really odd. I shake hands with new people I meet. I hug my closest female friends. And I am a true-blue made in Singapore Singaporean!
Also, I suggest the next time you are in such a situation, do not be silent. Politely tell that person that you was trying to help everyone learn the language since you are a native speaker.